Hi, Cleanish Squad!

​Click here to listen to me read this email to you!​

Years ago, I was stuck in a cycle that felt impossible to break. I spent so much time hiding—not just from others, but from myself. I hid my body under layers of clothing and avoided mirrors at all costs. Every Monday, I’d promise myself that this would be the week I’d get it together. And yet, by the weekend, I’d already given up, convinced I wasn’t capable of change.

At my heaviest, I weighed over 200 pounds. My health felt out of control, and I felt trapped in my own body. I tried it all: calorie counting, intense cardio, restrictive diets—anything that promised a quick fix. But nothing worked because I wasn’t addressing the deeper issue.

The Turning Point

One day, something shifted. I realized that the problem wasn’t just the food I was eating or the workouts I was skipping—it was how I saw myself. I was approaching health as a punishment, something I had to endure to fix what I thought was broken. I had to change my identity.

So, I stopped trying to “fix” myself and started focusing on small, intentional actions that felt good...that gave me more energy and made me feel more satisfied. Instead of cutting everything out, I began adding in. More water. More veggies. More movement.

I stopped treating exercise as a chore and found strength training. It didn’t happen overnight, but little by little, I noticed I was getting stronger—not just physically but mentally, too. I wasn’t just building muscle -- I was building resilience and confidence.

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My Before & After

My life today looks completely different. I feel confident in my skin, energized, and proud of what I’ve achieved—not because of the number on the scale, but because of how I’ve changed my mindset.

I even got my first tattoo—something I always wanted to do but was afraid of calling attention to myself. My first tattoo was at the age of 36 (the lilies and roses on my shoulder in the photo above -- to symbolize my two baby girls (at the time!)...Jordan Lily and Savannah Rose). For me, this was a bold decision that symbolized the confidence and freedom I’d grown into. It was part of embracing who I truly was and shedding the urge to hide or conform. In a way, that tattoo and each afterward became a celebration of reclaiming my identity and choosing to show up as my authentic self.

But let me tell you: the transformation wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t linear. There were setbacks, tough days, and moments I wanted to quit. The key was showing up for myself, even when it was hard, and focusing on progress, not perfection. Every day, I have countless opportunities to show up for myself and to strengthen this identity I've built over time.

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Lessons I Learned Along the Way

Here are a few things I’ve learned that I hope will inspire you:

1️⃣ Start Small:​
When I began, I didn’t overhaul my entire life. I started by drinking a glass of water each morning and taking short walks. Those small wins built momentum, and they were 100% necessary before the big wins.

2️⃣ Find What Works for You:​
For me, strength training became my outlet—it helped me feel strong, capable, and empowered. For you, it might be yoga, swimming, or daily walks. The key is finding movement you enjoy and embracing that enjoyment.

3️⃣ Shift Your Mindset Around Food:​
I stopped labeling foods as “good” or “bad” and focused on nourishing my body with whole, delicious meals. Eating became an act of self-care, not self-punishment. I also started tracking my macros to make sure I was eating enough for me to reach my goals -- a shift in thinking I use to this day.

4️⃣ Celebrate Every Win:​
Every healthy choice you make—whether it’s choosing veggies over chips, completing a workout, or drinking enough water—is progress. Celebrate those wins. Remember that your choices define you, and keep doing them!

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Your Turn to Begin

I know how hard it can be to take that first step—I’ve been there. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: change is possible. You don’t have to stay stuck. You can do anything, and it all starts with that first step.

Imagine where you could be a year from now if you started today. You would not be perfect, but you would be stronger, healthier, and more confident in yourself. And trust me, that would be enough.